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| 08:31am 01/24/2006 |
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mood:  embarrassed music: Dead End-In Flames
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Kyle=hangout soon?Maybe like Sunday for a bit???
I miss YOU
Oh and Silent Hill thingy wouldn't load bc I don't have macromedia and I was too lazy to d/l it.BUT IT STILL LOOKS BADASS.Mmk.Done.
Try to be too perfect and you end up having the world hate you.
I have problems accepting certain facts.So I'm going to try my best to swing them my way.
CONCERT
I won't quite talking about it. |
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| 02:31am 08/14/2005 |
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mood:  weird music: Eyes On Me-Final Fantasy VIII
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Hmm I think I'm ready.Maybe?Maybe not?Bah I don't know anymore.I'm afraid and I don't want to change.Everybody makes it seem like no big deal.They make it seem like it's as natural as waking up every morning.It's weird.But I guess I can't say anything.I don't know.I just don't want to make anymore mistakes.
I love this kid I really do.It's just hard to express.I keep things inside for fear of embarrassment and rejection.
Interesting.
I'm a dork.
No one will ever understand me because I don't even understand myself.
Glad I can talk to a goddamn computer about my problems.:( |
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Comments6 - Comment |
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| 02:38am 08/07/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Kelly Clarkson-Behind These Hazel Eyes
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Bwhaha.I'm tired.Kyle we must hang soon!This week definetely.Woot.Hardcore video games some swimming maybe?
I miss you. |
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| 12:33pm 07/15/2005 |
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mood:  cheerful music: sister bitching about hair
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I think I'm going to keep this kid around for awhile.He's mine.:p
Happy happy happy.:)
I like listening to your rambling.
You're fun.
I'm done now.
You should know how I feel.
If not I know how you feel.
So that's good enough for me.:) |
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| 12:07am 06/28/2005 |
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mood:  crushed music: Atreyu-The Crimson
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Found out a lot of shit that's been on my mind lately.Feels good to finally know the truth.I figured out that to me.It isn't a big deal.Shit happens but,you my dear are a lying little bitch.I'm sorry I was never a bitter person and could lie to someone to keep them apart.What he said.That's a bit much to do with someone you don't even care for or paid any attention too.I'm guessing action was just wanted and not caring from who.That makes me giggle.Though that can't be the reason.*cough cough*How can it even be enjoyable.Especially since you're getting it from the nasty.Fifteen times at least.That is a lot to do in a period of less than eight months.I just can't help but think why?Was it her,or him.Mullato makes me see things clearer.Thanks.He is a good person to talk to.I guess I shouldn't worry about what happened in the past.Even if it was nasty.It makes no difference now.People change.They grow apart.They no longer have the same intrests or views.I should be happy I have what I have.It makes me nervous inside though.In one second I could make a mistake and everything could be gone.I don't want that to happen.I don't want to be too careful though.I want to enjoy what I have too.I hope I'm not the only one who thinks this way.At least I got this conversation out of the way.
At least.I didn't bang his best friend in a period of like 2 weeks or so.So I still have my pride.You must not.Lying to yourself and to others to make you seem less whorish.Tisk Tisk.Shame shame on you.Lying to your best friend hardly seems right too. |
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Comments3 - Comment |
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| 05:27pm 06/27/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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I'm tired.I am done cleaning.All that swimming,family guy,and pizza,plus the cleaning wore me out.My face is burning.I have about 4 mosquitoe bites from the fireworks.I have to clean for the rest of the week.Tomorrow is hopefully zooness with Tony if he is home and Steve.Other people may come too.Should be a good time.I don't have to drive.Thank god.I have no gas in my car.I want to do something with Scott...but I'm pretty sure he's gonna hang out with Steven and Ryan.Oh well.I don't need to see him every night.He needs to get sleep...but he doesn't really see that.Or just doesn't care what I think.He is such a stubborn ass though. |
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| 12:10am 06/18/2005 |
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mood:  trying to make you understand
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I lied.I hate him.He would probably call what he said constructive criticism.He likes to use that as an excuse a lot.Maybe I should rid myself of him once and for all.I don't like the touchy feely relationships.I don't think that is what they are all about.Maybe I am wrong?I would rather just sit there and talk and have fun.Then even get near eachother to even kiss or something.Is that so wrong?I feel as if I am a disgusting person.Since I feel this way about myself and my looks I think he should too.But he apparently doesn't.Damn.I just don't want him to be all thinky in is his head that hah this other chick is prettier than her and is nicer than her and all that other jazz.I am insecure about myself.He could be all like hah the chicks before you had nicer bodies,personalities, etc. etc.Maybe I am just being paranoid.That is how I get.It cannot be helped.I should just rid myself of him and be alone.That is how it was before and I really liked it that way.I gave up shit for him.Not that what I gave up was a big deal but still.I gave up shit.He gave up nothing.Not that I really care.I don't hold anything against anybody.Damn.My dream is to be alone and live in a house and be old and have many cats/dogs and yell at kids to get the hell off of my property and don't touch the grass.Etc.Etc.I never plan on doing the nasty.Never ever.Nothing will ever change my mind.So I assume that since I want this.Everyone (doods)will just leave me the hell alone and be done with me.But no.I have to act like a bitch and be horrible to get my way.It sucks.It really does.But I cannot change my ways no matter how hard I try.I do it subconciously.I may move up to Arizona or New York.I keep telling my mom to get a job transfer.She refuses.If she does this.Everything will be all good in my hood. |
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| 12:12am 06/14/2005 |
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mood: surprised and hopeful music: Behind These Hazel Eyes.
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I love giving him a hard time.
I think I actually love him.
Kind of a scary thought coming from me.But not a bad thing.I don't think.If I can cry in front of him and not feel weird about it.I think it is a good thing.If he thinks its cute that I get so into it then it has to be a good thing.
Bah.I don't know anymore.Maybe I'm wrong? |
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| Ann Arbor... |
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| 01:13am 04/10/2005 |
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mood:  blah music: Killswitch Engagae
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So today.Lets see.Angela called me at like eleven.We tried to call Phil.He did not answer.Then Scott called.I called Angela back and she was with Phil all of a sudden and they were talking about going to Ann Arbor and I told them I did not want to go because I was supposed to go to Andrews work and see the cat with Scott.So they showed up at my house and Phil at some of my food then we left and I had to sit on Angelas lap because Phil had his music stuff set up in the back.That was a fun ride.Hmm cleaned out Phils car while waiting for Scott to arrive.Phil then whipped out his flamethrower super soaker.We tried it out and it did not work.That sucked.So Scott got there and we left to go to the mall.All they way up there we listened to techno and Phils favorite song.The samurai song.It was made by Aqua or something.It was awesome.So we got lost then finally found our way.Got to the Briarwood Mall and had some fun there and then went to meet Phils mommy at the Irish Pub.Well we had a good time with her.On the way there we saw some african american man dancing on the corner with music and he was singing too.We took Angelas camera and taped it.It was hilarious.Hmm went into this like wiccan store.Bought a lot of bummper stickers.They were sooo weird.Hmm went back to the parking lot...and got lost for about 10 minutes in there.It was so confusing.We thought we were going to get raped by this huge pigeons that looked like they were on steroids.Hmm finally got out of there and was blaring the techno samurai song throughout the town.I fell asleep in the car and by the time I got up we were back home.So of course we go to the shop.Then some bad shit happened.Pat called me Angela and Phil creepy fuckers or something along those lines.I wanted to cry.To bad he doesn't know we both dated his son and that I am his sons best friend.Ha.He would have laughed his ass off.Hmm we left to go to New China Buffet and to see Sin City again.By then I was in one of my moods and wasn't in the mood for group time.So Scott took me home with Stevo in the back and Scott like got this look on his face when he took me home.I felt bad and I wanted to go...but like I said I wasn't in the mood for group time.So slept for like an hour...then Angela called fromt the bathroom and we talked.She didn't like being the only girl there and then I got off the phone with her.Then Andrew called and wanted to hang out.Seeing as how he wasn't in a group I hung out with him.We played some DOA3, then went to his house and watched The Incredibles.It was a really good movie.Then I went home.Blah.Now I am bored. |
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| 01:24am 04/09/2005 |
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mood:  guilty music: System of a Down-Spiders
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Hmmm let us see.After school I talked to Angela on the phone.Then went and got a shower.I was bored so I called her back and she was sleeping.I call Scott and he was with Steve going to the shop.I was alone and bored.Bah.So I sat on my ass untill like 7 o'clock and did nothing.Then my mom comes home and is like do you want to go to Media Play?I'm all like sure I can get something out of this...well what I got out of it was not pleasant.We got there did all of our usual nerdy mother-daughter stuff.Then we went to look at books because I needed to get this book for Sowa class.Well we asked this guy to help us...and he kept staring at me.So I walk away.He comes up to me and is like I didn't mean to frighten you or anything what was that book you needed?I was really scared.He just kept staring at me intently.I told him and he looked it up.Then all of a sudden this really hot guy and I mean super hot guy comes up to me and is all like whatcha I found the book you needed.I was like heck ya thanks bud.The nerdy guy looked dissapointed that he didn't find it first.So I thank them both and go over to the music section to get my System of a Down cd.Well all of a sudden he pops up and is like can I help you this is my department.I was like oooh shit.My first instinct was to run but he was like what do you need.I told him and then when we find it my mom was all like...hmmm I am gonna walk away for awhile.I was like crap.So this guy was all like hmm you look really familiar.I was like you kind of do to.I honestly had nooo idea who he was.He started asking me about Taste of Chaos and crap.Then we got into my name,where I went to school, and what grade I was in.I told him all of this and he was like Alexandra?That's a hot name.I like almost died.Then he was like your really cute.Then he was like your boyfriend would probably beat me up if he heard me saying this to you.I laughed at that point.That's a joke.Then we got into people that we knew and same taste in music and then he whipped out a picture of his guitar and was like do you like it?I about pissed my pants at this point thinking oh dear god.Save me.Then he gets into how I should stop in and see him.I told him I would...I figure maybe he can get me discounts.I guess he is a senior at St. Francais or something but he doesn't know my Brucie or Andy.It makes me sad inside.I miss them.I was just mad that hot guy didn't stick around for this.He kept walking by though and I thought save me.My mom like laughed her ass off when she came back to get me.She was all like he likes you and I was all like that's creepy.I seriously died inside...but he was a very nice nerdy boy.I felt bad.Came home...played some more beach volleyball.Then Andrew called.He came and got me and we drove for awhile.Went to Taco Bell.Tried to call Phil.He didn't answer his phone.Called Angela but she was sleeping still so we felt bad for waking her up.Hmmm drove and talked for quite awhile about stuff.Got gas.Went to Meijers and the shop.Scott wasn't there so I felt creepy calling him and he was at some chicks house with Steve and some friends?I have no idea who they were but I was enjoying myself by then so I had an orange pop cream thingy and it was really good.The best part was that Andrew bought me stickers!They are fun!!!!Hmmm went back to Andrews and then he took me home.It was fun.Tomorrow I am going to his work to see the cat!I cannot wait.I am gonna have to set some rules for Scott though.He may want to touch things there and that would be bad.I don't want to get kicked out.Mattala is talking about being a rent-a-cop and I am thinking about Soul Calibure 3 and Haunting Ground.They look like awesome games.... |
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Comments3 - Comment |
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| Report Cards..... |
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| 03:29pm 04/08/2005 |
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mood:  crazy music: Slipknot
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Got my report card today.It wasn't very good.One d,two bs, and 3 cs.It sucked butt.I've had a very fun week.Went shopping with Angela.Tried to be dark.It was fun.I love my hair.It's pretty and I love how everyone thinks I am trying to be dark because of it.I love it.Met up with Phil.We had some fun by St. Annes.Scott called.We all decided to go to Hooters.Rated all the nasty fat chicks and figured out only like 5 or 6 of them were truly hot.We went to Nautica Coffee before that and oogled Danny.That was fun and watched him slide on the wet floor and some guy talked about his bike and his car.Hmmm.It was weird.Danala got a girrrrllll friend!It's sooooo cute.He is all happy and such.I feel very happy for him.Dustin is doing well with Jenny right now so thats good and me and Scott are doing just fine.So everyone is all good in the hood.Bitches and hoes as me and Dan would say.I still cannot get over Dan.His girlfriend is really cute.The real test is taking her to the shop though.That will be intresting.I am supposed to meet her this weekend.Hmm last night...let us see.Phillip,Angela,Scott and I hung out.We went to the mall and bought egg rolls.Hmm went to Nautica coffee and Danny let us play with his PSP.That was fun.Then me and Scott went back to his house to get his X-Box.His daddy opened the door and was like Scott,did you get a new girlfriend I barely recognize her.It was really funny.I am going to marry his dad.He is sooo funny.I don't think his mom likes it but that's okay.That woman scares me.Hmm Phil called us and was like don't come over I am going to go race my car.So we went back to my house.Played some Soul Calibur and decided that one day we will play strip Halo or strip Soul Calibur or both.Seeing as how I will crush him in Soul Calibur and seeing as how he will crush me in Halo.I laughed.We then played some Serious Sam.That game is awesome.He beat me.I got angry.He got even angrier when I beat him at Soul Calibur though.It was funny.Then I threatened to cut off his penis and sew it to his tummy.He looked scared.It was funny.Bah off to the grounding. |
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| Doing the lumberjack thing |
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| 06:59pm 03/28/2005 |
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mood:  aggravated music: None
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Bwaha.Today.Hmmm lets see.Woke up.Watched some DBZ because I am a loser.Got a shower.Then Dan and Dustin called.They were bored or whatever so we went to the shop.Did the lumberjack thing.Was fun.They couldn't knock the tree over.It took them awhile.Hmmm I finally met the Mexicans.They are crazy.Met..well more like saw Stinky.Man that guy is scary looking.We replaced well more like Dan replaced a fuel line...or something of that nature on Dustins lawnmower.Tried to get the dirtbike started...well we eventually had to hook it up to the back of Dans car.That was intresting.Scott got mad at me again.I do not get that man.He is probably going to be more mad when he finds out I have my first drive time on his birthday.Went to get Wendys.Then called Angela but she was busy.Took Dustin home to take a shit.I wanted to go to the park but it was getting a little cold out so instead we went to Danalas house.Hmmm well we took his lawnmower and attached his trailer to it.So he took me and Dustin around in it.Then we drove the lawnmower to Dustins new house to pick up another lawnmower.Oh it was great.Try crossing HollandSylvania with a lawnmower with a trailer attached to it.On the way back we had the lawnmower the trailer and then another lawnmower attached to it.It was great.We almost got kind of hit?I guess.Right now I am at Danalas and we are watching King of the Hill.I really do not like that show.Bah.Well gonna give up the computer now to somebody else. |
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| People.. |
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| 06:36pm 03/16/2005 |
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bah you know what people suck.They have to be immature five year olds about everything.Yes me and Scott are dating....I was hoping she would get over that.She wanted me to talk to her about it first.No matter what though it would not have changed her mind.Then she has to rant on about it to everyone trying to get herself some pity.You know what?Mandrew is the only one who gave two shits.I'm sorry.Maybe it makes me a shitty friend.She said if she was stopping my happiness I should say something.Well she was.I was trying to be a good friend by waiting and trying hard not to have anything happen.It was inevitable.Everyone saw that and didn't care when it happened.Then everyone tries to be her little bitch to her face and then can't shutup about her being an annoying attention whore behind her back.It just seems wrong to lie about how you feel to someone.The concert was fun.Eric came with us and I gave him my last ticket because Lauren still thought she was getting one from me.I laughed.Eric at least offered to pay for his.I declined his offer but still.It was nice of him.Dan went.Man I love that kid.He is sooo funny.He was like throwing people.He had the time of his life.He disappeared for awhile and I thought he had died.I got sick the next day and didn't go to school for the rest of the week.Right now I am at the shop on the computer.Dustin and Angela are here.They are taking creepy pictures with my phone |
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| Forts.... |
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| 02:55pm 02/06/2005 |
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mood:  irritated music: American Idol laughs
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Whatcha.Last night was fun.Scott called and came and got me at like 11 something in the morning and we went to the shop to check out his new snow mobile.Its my size.Hehehe.So when he fixes it I am gonna ride it unless there is no snow.Which is good...I hate snow.It needs to die.No one understands why I hate winter...neither do I.Bah.Then we went to Meijer.Bought Alex a posterboard for my French project.Looked at airsoft guns and knives.Tried to give him gas money.He refused to take it.Then we bought girl scout ice cream.Thin Mint and Samoa.It kicked butt.His samoa was better than my thin mint.We then went back to the shop to get me a bow and arrow.The bow was to big.So we didnt end up taking it.I finally got to see ray.This man looked crazy cool.We than went back to Scotts house to start his movie list.Spawn was first.Then Boondock Saints(if thats how you spell it).We went to his computer and watched Madtv and the Cat Dance.We then went to Blockbuster and got him a membership and picked out movies and stuff.It was fun.We ended up going back to my house.Angela came over.Played Soul Calibur.Beat the crap out of Scott.Angela beat me I think.We attempted to watch Evil Dead 1.In the midst of the movie.We decided to build a fort.Wow.We are cool.They ended up staying till 5 am.We talked about lots of stuff.It was fun.We should do it again sometime. |
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| Exams... |
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| 01:41pm 01/17/2005 |
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mood:  stressed music: Buttercup Purring
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Exams start tomorrow. I am writing a Sowa paper right now. It sucks. This paper is taking forever. I have to write like a hick. Bah. I can't write like a hick. I still haven't studied for any of my exams. Lauren is supposed to call me back later and let me know what is going on for our little study session. My weekend was pretty good. Friday Lauren stopped over for a bit with Steve. She brought me Rally's. Then Scott stopped over for a bit. I then kicked them all out. Then Andrew came over and we watched Shaun of the Dead. That movie never gets old. Saturday, Angela called me and we went to Meijers with Andrew and bought me pencils and note cards. I learned how to use a credit card thingy. Sunday Andrew called and I hung out with him for pretty much the whole day. Dustin and Dan called me and stopped over then I kicked them out because they wanted me to go to the shop. Then Andrew came back over. My sister and Cierra stalked him. They think he is hot. Poor Andrew. We then went back to his house. Watched Old School. Then Angela called. She came over. We eventually hid from Andrew and I scared the crap out of him. It was funny. We then got into a tickling fest. Was lots of fun. I guessed his password to his computer. The password was so stupid. But it took me forever to figure out. That was pretty much my weekend. It was a lot more fun than it sounds. I know have Buttercup on my lap and she needs my attention so farewell. |
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| Homecoming |
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| 03:18pm 10/10/2004 |
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mood:  giddy music: Slipknot-Circle
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Bahah Homecoming was yesterday...it was well intresting.First me and Lauren and Andrew went to the hair place.He was bored out of his mind.We were there for like 3 hours.My hair took like an hour and laurens like all 3 hours.It was funny.And to boot,she didnt even like it.Then we went to Marshall Fields to get Laurens makeup done..but we missed the first appointment.So Phil called me and he came over to Marshalls.Then we left and went to Laurens house for awhile.Then Phil left and went back to his house.Andrew,me and Lauren went to Kens then back to Marshall Fields for her actual appointment.She looked all pretty afterwards and I got a Jacknobber out of it!Hahah for those of you twisted minds out there a Jacknobber is a massage thingy.It feels like god.Haha then Phil showed up at Marshall Fields again...with egg rolls.Lmao.Then Phil took me to my house.I got all pretty and dressed.We left.Went back to Laurens and she did my makeup.Then she got dressed.Then we went and picked everybody up for dinner.Lauren ate sooooo much fricking food.It was crazy.She used like 2 forks at a time.Me and Dan and Ryan were like oohhhh....leave her alone,shes crazy.We then left to go to Andrews.Because that was the only way he could go to homecoming,then to Meijers were we bugged Scott and bought thin condoms for a dollar.It was funny.Then we went to homecoming where we were all dancing ghetto and such.It was funny as hell.We got our pictures taken for Andrews mommy.Then me and Lauren attempted to get Dan to dance...he is a funny kid.Hmmmmm we left and scott was there so then we all went back to Phils house then to Andrews bc Lauren and Ryan had to be back by 2.So after we dropped them off....we went to Phils mommys office adn made a mess there and threw pop off the roof and made janky drugged up coffee.Scott and Phil were being hilarious.Phil couldnt say mandarin oranges.So he ended up say mandarian oranges.Scott was singing or humming all of these weird star wars songs.Took Phils car for a spin.Phil didnt like it.Lmao.Dan was being all hush hush.He hid downstairs for like 30 minutes and didnt say anything when we called to him.Creepy.And I have now realized.Andrew gets really funny when he is tired.I mean he was ridiculously funny.He was acting all crazy and locking doors and zooming around in chairs.Made lots of shity coffee and beat my ass in Dead or Alive 3.It was lots offfffffff fun. I didnt get home till like 530 in the morning.When I got there my mom was up and was like hiiii Alex.I was like ohhh crap.She was like I was worried about you.I was like oohhh and went to bed.So my night was pretty intresting |
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Comments4 - Comment |
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| Driving |
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| 02:05am 10/02/2004 |
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mood: stressed music: Who can think about music?
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Phil taught me how to drive a stick shift!YAYS.Me = Happy Camper.We all had a fun filled night...untill me and Angela and Phil and Andrew were driving to Andrews house...then when we were at a stop light...well ummmm Andrews APB braky thingys stopped working and he hit us.There was bad damage to his car and very little to Angelas...but we were all shaken up a bit...I didnt get home till right now.We all had to go to the police station and fill out a report.It was awful.Felt like I was gonna throw up.I dont like cops.The sylvania coppers were dickheads.I feel bad for Andrew.We volunteered to come in and explain..but he said no.So after much hugging.We all departed...... |
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Comments1 - Comment |
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| Hunting... |
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| 10:03pm 09/26/2004 |
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mood:  refreshed music: Nightmare Before Christmas
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We hunted and searched but to no avail...we could not find them.So I am sure the hunt will continue this weekend...and sticks WILL be used if necessary next time.Blek school tomorrow.Dont want to go.None can make me but the o powerful one known as my mom.Lmao.Kyle bud.I hope they dont call you down to the office again when you didnt drive!Justin congrats on maybe getting a car for your b-day. |
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| Carl... |
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| 12:18am 09/26/2004 |
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mood:  giggly music: Slipknot
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Haha Carl he was a good crank.Angela I think you really creeped Dan out with the hey can I make you a man thing!Ha it was great.Carl...I hardly knew him.But now he is a part of something greater.That is if Dan can get him out or in the engine!Lmao.His daddy is funny.He was like cleaning the basement and he was like ya the basement is free if you want to take these fine ladies inside!I was laughing my ass off.We took pictures of Carl.We posed with him and he pimped us out.We made him a man.Dan pimps out his engines.Angela kept stroking Carl.She felt very attached to him...but Dan wanted him back.But at least we got pictures of Carl.Then one of Dan abusing him.Oh and the half inch wrench is Harold,and the leaf is Leroy.Hah...so much fun.I didnt know what to say though because I really dont know the kid.So Angela was interrogating him about stuff.It was hilarious.Then all of a sudden I see his older brother go past the door in like his boxers.I was like yaaaaaa.I think his name is Kevin or something?I forget.Steve got dreads..I need to point and laugh.There were spiders...and Angela smashed one with a hammer.Ewww.Anyways it was a fun night.The football game Friday is a wholeeee other story....if you wanna know I guess ask.I guess I turned Mike down or something...just because I didnt start like making out with him?Dustin can explain I guess. |
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| 04:11pm 09/20/2004 |
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mood: blah music: Fatal Frame 2 backround music
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Denner was getting all weird on me today...I feel bad for him...his exhomecoming date seems like a real bitch...poor guy....oh well we had a serious talk today.It was really funny, well I thought so.I got a B on my Med Tech test today.Yay go me.I studied for like five seconds this morning.I feel smart.Me and Kyle saw Resident Evil Apocalypse.He liked it I think.Then I drove with him in the car.Feel very bad for him haha sorry if I scared you Kyle.You got me into salad.*tears*Bah I cant write this paper for english...my group gave me alllll the work.It blows.Then I have 2 paragraphs for Weaver due tomorrow...have noooo idea what I am gonna write for that.Life sucks. |
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